fly...

Of all the songs that could have possibly popped into my head at work today this one stands out. The great thing about this song is that it reminds me constantly that i should never get up on my dream. My dream isn't to fold clothes, address customer complains, as well as handle shoplifters. My dream is to be an artist as i was working yesterday a co-worker noticed my pencil bag. Moments later she assumed that i had a container full of pens and it would only be common courtesy to give her one. This was the first time in a long time that i addressed anyone working there that i'm an artist. I don't work at Old Navy because i want to, but because in the grand scheme of things i'm suppose to for the time being. So i'm waiting on my spaceship

Break times is over

I've taken a small break from speaking my mind and attacking the issues i hold dear to my heart. One of my biggest fears is change. I'm afraid to step out on the ledge and simply do things. Which would explain why it took me 5+ years to get a new phone. My dinosaur phone has been been creeping along and keeping up with me until this past weekend. So i headed out on Mon prepared to get myself a new phone which i did. Yes i'm still getting the hang off my phone but what scared me was it was too new. There's no such thing as anything being to new but it was. I can apply the same theory to my life. Why haven't i quit Old Navy yet, because i'm scared of the change. i'm scared of trying something so new that it will scare me into regret. It goes without saying that my name Thomas is a biblical name. Most people know the story how Thomas doubted Jesus after he rose from the grave. By any means is my life episode that bad but i find myself constantly doubting and judging myself.

I'm still find myself looking back and most of the time it isn't with a smile on my face. I was on facebook recently and their mutual friends setting. I saw a picture that i hadn't seen in some time. It was of Vera. The girl i spent the better part of 5 years chasing all throughout high school. Never once did she tell me i'm chasing a far fetched dream. I know i shouldn't be happy about other's disappointments but she gained weight and had kids. Not the skinny little theater actress i remember.