The King of Pop 1 year later

Today marks the anniversary of Michael Jacksons' death. I was surprised and shocked as i rode in a car full of people and received the news that he lived no more. I remember going ot my parents house and just sitting down and watching tv reports from all over the world. Seeing how people danced and sang in a public out cry over his passing. Even more so over the past year i've seen floods of t-shirts, messages as well as people playing his music.that show how much he is missed. Even though Michael is in his own category, after his passing some people has gone on to label him as "the black people's Elvis." Both men were great performer but each man had their own lane of musical talents. They are simply incomparable.

My friend Cara, had mailed me his tribute movie This is It. For obvious reasons i pushed it aside when it was first released in the movies as well on dvd. I didn't want anything that would cheapen the image of Michael. I had written it off as a last ditched attempt for some people to cash in on his death and make money. Instead i was pleased to see the working of a concert that made me want to be there. There are few performers that i would say i would love to see live, (him and Madonna being of the group) but i would've paid any amount of money to be there. The concert that they had managed and planned would have truly been something that set itself apart from the rest. From set designs, wardrobe, live band, and dancers this was a collective effort that he had a hand in. Even the taped testimonials about how his musical and creative genius touched and inspired some many people. .

Watching the movie i wanted to do something more creative with my life. I wanted to inspired someone else to do something special with their life. This blog isn't me worshiping Michael like he was a god, but i have respect for someone as dedicated to his craft as he was.

Distance and Space

This week marks my first days back to work after a lengthy vacation and i wonder am i living my dream. Yeah, i do have a job as a retail manager but how does that fit into my dream. As much as the pressure of my job cause earthquakes in my personal life. I now use my down time to gain control again. I'm try my best not to accept handouts of pity from others because when it all boils down to it. Only you control you destiny and fate, not to many people can help you out when it comes to that. Things won't ever change until i want them to.

Frustrated with the random comments on facebook i deactivate my account again. As pleasing as it might be to write a status update of "i'm having a burger" or "i'm at the beach" it is just as random as a text message out the blue. Where exactly in life or enlightenment does that follow? It's more like an US or People magazine popular stars update. The worst part is that i saw myself doing the same thing posting things like "i'm watching the game at the sports bar." Honestly does anyone really truly care? I doubt it.

Yet again i'm tighten my circle of friends and focusing the remainder of my time on my artwork. If i ever want to be taken seriously as an artist i'm going to have to put in more hours and create more pieces.

Tin Man

It's Saturday and i thought i would simply unwind. I'm still working on distressing my life and it's a very slow process. My goal is to be drama free before this month is out. But on another topic i've downloaded a song that defines my thoughts about my past relationships. As you can imagine i've been playing it over and over again.

Mental Health Day

Sometimes people throw that term around just as an excuse. In my case, my own personal mental health day means doing what i want to do when i want to do it. I wish i could say that my life isn't very controlled but it is. Very rarely is my free time my free time. It's planned and mapped out. Mental health days do wonder from me as it allows me to reset my mind.

Since i returned from Texas at the beginning of May i've been pulled in all sorts of directions. I've bounced back between both Lynnhaven and Greenbrier locations while other managers have been on vacation, had surgery, quit as well as been terminated. That in itself has taken it's toll on me. Sometimes i don't feel like being bothered or that i pass out on the couch due to sheer emotional exhaustion. I consider myself to be mentally tough but the more problems i take on in my personal life compacted with my issues of work life is draining. I've been continually experiencing back pains to the point that i've been saved by having a duty-free vacation.

Interesting things that i found

My friend Cara is still in the mist of a messy post divorce situation. What amazes me is how quickly civil matters can turn messy. Of course no one expects everything to be a clean break in situations like this. There is expected disappointed but just as in all situations your character should shine through. When i say character i mean all the things that make you who you are on a very day bases. Some may call them morals and ethics while others will refer to them as basic home training. For example, i work with an individual that when the time gets hard they non-confrontation. This person cowers away, therefor i know in the character department when i 'm put in that situation i most likely will not have someone standing behind me. Instead i will have an outside observer.

Of all the amazing quotes i could find i love this one the most. Regardless of whatever discussion that we make at the point in time it seemed like the right thing to do. I will paint a pictures that's more than 10 years ago to explain this example. I drove to DC to see Eva (she is now one of my closest female friends) while i was still in a relationship with my girlfriend Ayesha. Ultimately i ruined my relationship with my girlfriend to have that experience of simply hanging out with someone i only heard the voice of and read the letters of. I recalled for sometime i would beat myself up about how things turned out, but then i realized for the moment of happiness it was all worth it. As well as this was all part of God's plan.

What would life be like if they actually had a class on relationships. They semi have their version of it when you're in high school and middle school but nothing really prepares you for it. You aren't emotionally equipped to handle that situations that we are put in. Just thinking back to being in school again, sometimes it seemed like my world would end just because i was rejected or broken hearted. Years later it the sting of neglect still feels the same.