A Heart

i just recently came off of vacation in which i had a long time to think. I was just thinking about bills, work, art, or movies. Since i was sick laying down most the time i thought about life. Currently i have numerous single friends. Most of them like myself have various reasons for being single. Ultimately we make excuses that are ways for us to hide. I'm hiding in fear of the possibilities; what if i approach the girl and she says yes or better yet no? I find myself revisiting those thoughts again as i hear their stories of being single. Even once in a while i get hit with loneliness but overall i push those thoughts aside. My personal goals will become brought to a stand-still if i was in a relationship. Love is not another job that you clock in and clock out of but it's just something that happens.


Last Friday i found myself shaking my head as one of my female friends told me she was searching for love on Craig's List [of all places]. She's not an ugly girl by any stretch of the imagination but a lonely one. After thinking more i found myself mumbling the phrase " but aren't we all lonely?" I pose this question to everyone that is single: How can you love someone if you haven't learned to love yourself?


When i look at myself, i know that i'm single. The reason being because i chose to be so, not because i can't get a date.

2 carts full of soda

This is a small scene from my uneventful evening at Walmart late Sat night. Most people call it the meeting spot because you can talk and gather with others because it's Walmart. Who really cares if you're bring your sunday best there?!

However, I'm straying away from my thoughts on this photo. These 2 guys had a basket full of soda which i assume was for their local business. They made sure by stocking up now that they were prepared for the future. There are times in life when we need to do the same thing, prepare for the future. It takes alot to leap into an area of mystery and unknown. Our ego plays tricks on us asking us if we are really ready. Other's thoughts around us question our logic.

Just as i have mumbled under my breath "did they guys really need to buy this sodas now?" only they knew why the timing was right.

MLK's Birthday!

Normally i don't whine or complain, better yet say anything at all but today is a little different. I awoke this morning from watching more movies that i recall previously. I was playing around on myspace when i ran across some of the more hurtful emotionally comments that i've seen in a while. Today is suppose to be Martin Luther King's birthday and it just proved the fact that in the words of Rodney King "Why can't we all just get along?" Yeah it's suppose to be the 2000's, a new millennium has started but it feels like we've left others behind. I'm not sure where the hatred popped up or became apparent but it was there. One comment stirs the melting pop while everything else inside just reacts. It's truly sad when i think back to the radio recording that i listened to coming from work. A local radio station was playing a copy of his very last speech. Even years after his words still rung clear for all to hear. It makes me wonder will my ideas, thoughts, and comments still hold weight years from now!

chinese meditation balls & destiny

My original and i guess 1st post was going to be about Chinese meditation balls. I'm not really to sure why exactly that topic. It coul be that i used to drive around with them in my old blue Neon (even though my friends called it purple). I often look toward Eastern philosophy to round out my hard edge world. So of course meditation balls seemed like a good topic. Quickly that plan was scrapped and i was lead to my current thought of destiny.

I'm more than lucky, i'm honored to have great friends supporting me. I know i keep a very narrow circle of people that i'm 110% open about everything with, i still love everyone that i come in contact with. As an artist i'm constantly put in the loop of fellow artists,writers, and poets just to exchange ideas and thoughts. I had the opportunity to read one of my friends 1st books that they wrote together. Michelle and Craig meet when they were at Old Navy and eventually got married. Over the past couple of years they gotten serious about writing a novel together especially since Craig is an English major. Without giving to much of their book away they wrote African-American grow-up story about destiny. In the end it lead me to think how many times people vision becomes so clouded that we can't see that life has a grand purpose. Life does have a purpose and we are all connected in some shape or form. It's a hard and difficult pill to swallow, when you force yourself to believe in that theory.

"oh i got a speeding ticket not just to slow me down but to make sure that life was balanced out. That years from now that i would be in the right place at the right time. "

It can be said that their book was put in front of me at the right time at the right moment when i would need it best. Very deep thought! I'll guess i'll save the meditation topic for another day.